The Spider is a church member who asks questions. A preacher once compared people who disagree with him to a spider. This website uses the name.
Eli was a priest in Israel long ago. You can read about him in 1 Samuel, chapters 2 and 3.
A spiritual son is a younger Christian whom an older Christian teaches, like a father teaches a son. Paul called Timothy his son in this way.
The inner circle means the small group of people closest to the leader.
Gossip means talking about other people’s private problems behind their backs.
Partiality means treating some people better than others because of who they are.
This page gives the Spider’s opinion. It does not name any preacher, church, family or person. Check it with the Bible, and with what you see.
Eight points
People close to the leader did wrong. The leader protected them. Other people were hurt. Everyone could see it.
Eli honoured his sons more than God. He did not stop them.
Treat everyone the same. Do not have favourites.
Jesus corrected his closest friends the most: Peter, James and John.
Every Christian is a sinner who needs God to forgive him. Every day.
Talking about someone’s problems is still gossip, even if you say “let’s pray for them.”
Giving advice that nobody asked for is not help. The Bible calls it meddling.
People stop wanting to worship God.
What happened in Eli’s house
Eli’s sons were priests. They took people’s gifts to God by force. They did evil things with women who served at the house of God. Everybody knew. Eli talked to his sons, but he did not stop them.
Why do you kick at my sacrifice and at my offering, which I have commanded in my habitation, and honor your sons above me, to make yourselves fat with the best of all the offerings of Israel my people?
1 Samuel 2:29 · World English Bible
In simple words: God said to Eli: “You honour your sons more than me.”
The sin of the young men was very great before Yahweh; for the men despised Yahweh’s offering.
1 Samuel 2:17 · World English Bible
In simple words: Because of the sons, people began to hate coming to worship God.
To read more about this story, see Dossier 77.
The other side
It is good to have spiritual sons. Paul had Timothy. Churches need older Christians that younger ones can learn from. Pastors need helpers. Praying for each other is good. Giving help to someone who asks for it is good.
Most people close to a pastor are honest and want to serve. Some are being used by others. The problem is not having helpers. The problem is when nobody may correct them.
Paul and Jesus did the opposite
Those who sin, reprove in the sight of all, that the rest also may be in fear. I command you in the sight of God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the chosen angels, that you observe these things without prejudice, doing nothing by partiality.
1 Timothy 5:20–21 · World English Bible
In simple words: Paul told Timothy: if a church leader sins, correct him in front of everyone. Do not have favourites.
Jesus corrected Peter strongly: “Get behind me, Satan!” (Matthew 16:23). He also corrected James and John. They were his closest friends.
In the Bible, being close to the leader means more correction, not less. In Eli’s house, it meant protection.
What the Spider has seen
The Spider has seen these things in some churches. This is a general picture. It is not about one church.
- “Perfect” people. The group close to the pastor is shown as perfect. But the Bible says: “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves” (1 John 1:8).
- Favourite children. Their children get the best jobs and the most praise in church. But God hates it when we treat people with two different measures.
- Showy prayers. They pray long prayers so people can see them. Jesus warned about this (Matthew 6:5).
- “Holy” gossip. They talk about other people’s problems and say, “We should pray for them.”
- Pushing into other lives. They give advice about other people’s marriages, children and money, without being asked.
- A shield. The pastor defends them from the pulpit. He attacks people who ask questions.
One who brings gossip betrays a confidence, but one who is of a trustworthy spirit is one who keeps a secret.
Proverbs 11:13 · World English Bible
In simple words: A gossip tells secrets. A good friend keeps them.
If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother.
Matthew 18:15 · World English Bible
In simple words: If someone does wrong, talk to that person first, alone. Do not talk to other people about it.
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or a thief, or an evil doer, or a meddler in other men’s matters.
1 Peter 4:15 · World English Bible
In simple words: Do not push into other people’s private business. Peter puts this next to stealing.
If someone is being hurt, or is not safe, get help from a trained professional. If the law says you must, tell the police or other authorities.
What you can do
- Talk about the problem, not about a person. If someone did wrong, talk to that person first.
- Do not join gossip. Ask kindly: “Have you talked to them?”
- If someone gives you advice you did not ask for, you can say no, politely.
- Watch: does the pastor correct his own friends, or only other people?
- Ask: does the pastor have anyone he must answer to?
- Write down what is preached, and check it at home (Dossier 79).
- Remember Samuel. He was a boy. He was afraid. But he told Eli the truth (1 Samuel 3:18).
Do I gossip? Do I give advice nobody asked for? Jesus said: first take the log out of your own eye (Matthew 7:5).
Is your church like Eli’s house, or like Paul’s?
Want more?
The quick version has a side-by-side table you can tap. The full dossier has all the evidence.
Quick version → Full dossier →